Poor Twisted Me
by Koneko Cain
Summary: Bakura has to break some news to Seto that he's not going to like, but things are going to get far worse than that. SetoBakura
1. Fighting the World

Note: I love this pairing, anyone who's listened to me rant or read BNW probably knows that by now. So, here's yet another fic for them while I stare at BNW and try to come up with a sequel for it.

Warnings for entire fic: Expect angst, probably some sex in there somewhere (Can't write a fic without it…), violence, maybe a bit of blood. Gotta point out again that I hate the good guys, Yami especially, so they probably won't get good roles in here. I tend to turn Yami into a total bastard just because I don't like him.

Poor Twisted Me – Part 1

Bakura POV

This isn't even my problem. It has hardly anything to do with me, yet here I am stuck solving it. I don't want to be doing this, I'm going to get the shit kicked out of me. I wouldn't mind so much if I was actually _gaining_ something by it, or if I knew I could fight back. But no, I can't hit back and what am I getting from all this? My good deed for the year? I know what I'm getting. I'm getting gratitude from Ryou and absolution from my debt, I hurt him. I have to pay for that, and this will stop the guilt for a few months. I shouldn't care, I never used to care. It's been years now, though, and he's not just a vessel anymore. He says we're brothers if anyone asks - he doesn't hate me at all. I wish he did, then I wouldn't have to do this. I owe him, though. I hate owing anything to anyone, but at least this will pay off some of my debt.

Ryou is seeing someone at the moment. He's been seeing them for five or six months, and to be honest they're not so bad. His name is Mokuba. He used to be this scrawny little kid who reminded me of what I used to be like when I still had a home and a family, and a village to keep it all in. He's seventeen now, and he's grown a lot taller than I ever did. Then again, I died young anyway, and being tall must run in his family or something. My light is twenty-one now, but I don't think the age difference matters to them because Mokuba is some kind of genius. They fit well together – Ryou is shy and quiet, but Mokuba drags him out and makes him enjoy himself, so I think it's a good thing. They seem to be happy enough, so I left them to it. Now, though, Mokuba wants my light to live with him. I wouldn't care, but they haven't told Mokuba's brother that they're seeing each other. They're afraid of him, they want me to do it. I said no, it's their problem and they should sort it out. Then Mokuba told me that his brother would not be happy, and he might hurt my light. I would kill him if he did, but I don't think that would have made them feel any better. I have to tell him, because I cannot let him hurt Ryou, and if he does decide to get violent it won't be anything new to me. I can't fight back because that would just make things worse, but I can take whatever that mortal hands me much better than my light would. I am not afraid of him, but I would still rather not be doing this. Things are complicated enough at the moment, Pharaoh is remembering things that happened between us a very long time ago. Every time I see him I know he wants to bring it up – if he does I'm going to be the one getting violent. I hate him, he should leave it at that.

So, I have two wonderful things to make my life that much more enjoyable. Seto Kaiba and the pharaoh. Right now, Seto Kaiba is the one I'm dealing with, standing outside his office waiting for him to let me in, glaring at his secretary. She looks like she wants to throw me out, but she can't because believe it or not I have an appointment. Mokuba made it for me – he really wants me to do this. It's _his_ brother, but even Mokuba is nervous about how he'll react. I don't see what they're so scared of, he's only mortal.

That bitch of a secretary finally tells me to go on in, and I do as she says, thinking about the time when I would have just killed her for looking at me like that.

Seto Kaiba's office is huge, there's no way he needs this much space. It's probably to intimidate his underlings or something. I stalk inside and close the huge doors behind me, standing near them and folding my arms, glaring over at him. He's sat behind his desk, typing away on that damned laptop of his and completely ignoring me for the moment. At this point if I were someone like Jounouchi, I'd start yelling at him. Since I'm not an idiot, I simply wait for him to stop playing games with me. If he doesn't acknowledge my presence in the next three minutes I'm going to just turn around and walk out – let them do their own dirty work. I'm sure Kaiba would hate not knowing what I came here for.

I stare at the dark blue carpet and the big window for the next few minutes, feeling my rage-meter building. He might get away with this with the mortals, but I am the king of thieves. He should be the one standing meekly by the door, waiting until it's convenient for me to notice him.

Finally I get sick of waiting, and instead of demanding his attention so that he can more pointedly ignore me, I turn around and reach for the door handle. I don't care about this any more, I'm going to go get drunk or something. Screw Kaiba and his stupid games, let him sit here in this oversized office and die of curiosity over what I wanted.

I get about as far as turning the handle on the door before his hand is on my shoulder, stopping me. I didn't even hear him move, but I'd probably been standing there lost in my own thoughts for a good minute or so anyway. His grip is like a vice, suddenly I realise why even Mokuba didn't want to do this. He's probably stronger than I was back in the desert, and that's saying something. This body is nowhere near to matching his strength, but I'm still faster than anyone I know. That includes him. Hopefully I can get out of this without him tearing my spine out, if I get it out quickly then run away. Gods, I sound like such a coward, it's pathetic. Then again, running away and fighting dirty got me pretty far back in the day, say as much about honour as you want. It never did shit for me.

"What do you want?" He demands, because Seto Kaiba doesn't ask questions – he demands answers. I turn around and shrug off his grip, and he's really fucking tall. He's looking down at me suspiciously, already having figured out he's not going to like what I came here to tell him. I may as well get this over with.

"I came with a message for you, from my light and your brother." I take a step back, a step closer to the door. I'm right up against it now, I could just reach out and open it.

"Why would my brother have anything to do with Ryou Bakura?" He narrows his eyes at me, and I'm pretty sure he's figuring it out for himself – he just wants to hear me say it so he has someone to take the anger out on. Well, I can handle whatever he gives me. Why the fuck did I agree to do this?

"They're going out. They have been for months. They wanted me to tell you." I say, trying not to flinch when his fist connects with the wall right next to my head and he leans down, trapping me against the door.

"_What_?" He snarls quietly, and I can tell just by his voice that he's going to tear me a new one if I don't get out of here quickly. He could kill me.

"They want to live together now. That's it." I say, keeping my voice level. He just stares at me for a long moment, and I can see the rage in his eyes. I stare back evenly, not letting my eyes give anything away, and just when I think he's going to let me go his fist is in the front of my shirt. He could probably lift me right off the floor but he doesn't, he just yanks me up and looks right into my eyes. I hiss at him and he shoves me back against the wall, knocking the breath out of me. Before I can get it back his hand is around my throat and his fingers are digging into my neck, and I clench my teeth because all I want to do is claw at his eyes until he lets me go. This is not a good position to be in – he could snap my neck right now. I hate being this vulnerable more than anything, but I can't fight back. This is for my light, I hope he appreciates it.

"Why did _you_ come?" He growls. I glare up at him, wishing I could breathe properly.

"Because I wouldn't let you lay a fucking hand on my light." I hiss back, and his grip tightens. I squeeze my eyes closed because they're starting to blur at the edges, and every instinct I have is screaming at me to start fighting. I'll give him another minute, and then screw it. He can beat me all he wants, but if he's actually going to try and throttle the life out of me I'm not going down without a fight. I just thank Ra I don't have a knife on me right now, because if I did I'd damned well use it, and I'm sure _that_ would go well. Sorry Mokuba, I killed your brother. But hey, he started it, you know? I hate this. I can hear my own pulse pounding in my head, and when I open my eyes again all I can see is red. It clears after a moment and I've had enough of this. He's actually trying to kill me, and there's only so far I'm willing to go to repay my debt to Ryou. When I die it's going to be loud, and bright, and people are going to see it for fucking _miles_. I'm not letting this bastard strangle me in some office and then calmly go back to typing like I don't matter enough to be concerned with.

"Get the fuck off me, Kaiba!" I snarl, clawing at his arm. He seems to snap out of his little haze of bloodlust at my voice, but he's far from ready to let me just walk out of here. His hand leaves my throat and I drop to the floor, not expecting that or the sudden rush of being able to breathe again. I'm too vulnerable down here at his feet, so I'm about to scramble out of the way and put some distance between us, but he kicks me in the side and I end up sprawled on the carpet, coughing. He kicks like he should be doing it for a living. I try and claw my way up, at least onto my hands and knees. I'm too slow, though, and this _amazing_ pain shoots up my arm. I'm seeing white, and it takes me a good few seconds to figure out what happened. He just stood on my fucking hand. Not so bad on its own, but I had my fingers curled under my palm, ready to push myself up. Well, at least one of my fingers is now broken, maybe two. It hurts like a bitch and my survival instincts are really starting to kick in now. I pretty much scream in pain and rage, and jerk my palm up to slam into his kneecap. He staggers back and I scramble up and sprint for the door, knowing I'll be safe once I'm out there because he's not going to touch me in front of his secretary and all his little minions.

I yank the door open with my bad hand and hiss in pain, but manage to get out of there without even looking back at him. I give the secretary a venomous glare, trying to look like I haven't just had the crap beaten out of me by her boss, and make it to the elevator just as the door to Kaiba's office opens. Instead of coming after me he just stands there and smirks, looking totally fine as the doors of the elevator close between us. I get the feeling he's decided that this whole thing with Mokuba and Ryou is somehow all my fault, and I'm now on his revenge list. Ra, this has not been a good day. Still, even I can look on the bright side. At least it's over, right? I don't have to see Kaiba again, and I've done my part. They can sort the rest out for themselves once he's cooled off – as for me, I'm going to find some cheap vodka and drink until my hand stops being so painful.

TBC

You know he's not going to get off that easy, right? I'm actually writing a story with something like a plot. Well, damn. Still, it could be worse. At least I didn't write it at 5am this time.


	2. Hook in Mouth

Note: Kinda short chapter, because I have typing-up to do.

Poor Twisted Me

Chapter 2

'_And I heard you say,_

_Sometimes you fall,_

_Into the arms of_

_No-one at all…'_

_-Vice, Razorlight._

I spent most of this morning nursing my bruises and trying to cook lunch with one hand, which is a lot harder than it sounds. That fucker broke two of my fingers – I'd kill him in his sleep if he wasn't related to Mokuba. Who, incidentally, turned up at our nasty little apartment about half an hour ago looking shaken up but basically ok. He took my light off into the living room and they've been in there talking ever since, probably making plans to move Ryou in. Fine by me – I can take care of the rent for this dive on my own as long as Ryou doesn't mind me stealing again. What he doesn't know won't hurt him, and he doesn't have much of a choice anyway, nobody in their right mind would employ me.

Apparently I look like trouble.

I managed to make pasta with one hand, but now I have to carry it into the other room whilst looking like there's nothing wrong with me. I guess I'm lucky his handprint around my throat didn't bruise or I'd be wearing a turtleneck today. I can't let my light see what a number his boyfriend's brother did on me or he'll go into angst mode and start blaming himself. Or even worse, he might go into protective mode and try to tell Kaiba off, which probably wouldn't end well.

I grit my teeth and just carry the tray in both hands, pulling my sleeves down so hikari won't notice that two of my fingers are bruised purple and won't bend. I heal faster than regular people, thankfully, so I should be back to normal in a few days and I won't have to worry about it any more.

When I get into the living room they're acting suspiciously anyway, so my fingers don't really matter. Ryou takes the tray from me and steers me to sit down in a chair across the coffee table from the couch, where the two of them are sat together. I don't know what's going on, but they look nervous. I cross my arms so neither of them can see my injured hand and glare at them.

"Alright, what's going on?" I demand, and I can already tell it's going to be something I'm not going to like. If Mokuba got kicked out and wants to live here instead of taking Ryou to live with _him_ he can pay a share of the damned rent.

"I talked with Seto last night…" Mokuba begins, doing his _prepare for the worst_ grin. "He, well, he…uh…" He trails off and my light takes over to spare his boyfriend the scary look I'm giving him.

"He says I can go live with Mokuba." Ryou smiles. Ok, I'm not seeing a problem so far…

"But?" I growl, because this is Seto Kaiba and there has to be a catch.

"But you have to come too." Mokuba cuts in again, grinning nervously.

"_Fuck_ no." I say, without even having to think about it. I don't _want_ to think about it, about why Kaiba would want me there too. The words _stress relief_ and _punching bag_ go through my head and I'm already standing up to leave, but then I see the look on my light's face and pause. This is stupid, because the moment he sees me hesitate he knows he has a chance and I'm already pretty much fucked.

"Please, 'Kura?" He begs, doing those pathetic eyes that he knows make me feel guilty. He has no shame. "It won't be so bad, Kaiba was civil enough when you went to talk to him, he'll probably be really nice once he gets used to us."

Yeah, I told him Kaiba was _civil_. I left out the part where he wrapped his hand around my neck and squeezed.

"No way. Why the fuck does he want me there anyway?" I scowl at Mokuba, who's holding Ryou's hand for moral support. At least they're not so terrified of me they had to get someone else to come tell me. I don't want Ryou to be afraid of me anymore – I have to live in this damned time and he's all I have here.

"I'm not sure, he just said you should come too, and keep an eye on us. I think he's afraid we'll start having wild jungle sex all over the house." Mokuba grins lecherously, and _there's_ an image I really needed seared into my brain. Ryou is blushing, it's so easy to make him blush.

"What makes you think I'd care enough to stop you?" I mutter, taking my bowl of pasta with my good hand, setting it on my lap and glaring down at it as though pasta is the cause of all my problems.

"I guess he thinks you're responsible."

Mokuba can be a manipulative little bitch when he wants to. I wouldn't agree with that because I've been known to have psychotic episodes when I'm not happy, and I know damned well that's not why Kaiba wants me there. Ryou is still looking at me with those pleading eyes, and I really, really don't want to be Seto Kaiba's live-in stress relief , but I can't refuse because I owe him. I fucking hate this.

"Fine," I snarl after a full minute of being stared at hopefully by the both of them. "But if I don't like it I'm torching the place."

TBC


	3. No Leaf Clover

Notes: This one might be kinda choppy, most of this fic is written, just in bits in about ten different notepads. This is one of those exciting filler chapters anyway.

DreamingChild - He's sort of an emotional pushover, but he's going to get more and more unhinged as the fic goes on. And I probably won't hurt him... too much. Seto doesn't believe he's really crazy, he thinks Bakura's putting it on.

Blackangeltwin1 - I've had my hand stepped on too, it hurts like hell! Glad you got your own back, nothing is better for pain than sharing it.

Poor Twisted Me

Chapter 3

Bakura POV 

This house is bigger than the pharaoh's palace was, I bet there's rooms in this place he's never even been in.

Ryou handed over the keys to our tiny, crap little apartment today so this place is officially our home now. My light has been living here for a few days, but I stayed to take care of the flat and let my hand finish healing until today, so this in my first time inside the Kaiba mansion. Thankfully that bastard Kaiba is off at work right now, so he doesn't know I'm here yet. Mokuba showed me around and I can just about remember the route from my room to the kitchen, which is all I need. Every room has its own en suite bathroom, so I can probably hide out in mine for days if I have to. Right now, though, I'm going to find something interesting to do before I die of boredom.

I've been in this house less than three hours and already I'm banging my head against the wall. Amazingly enough, I haven't even seen Kaiba yet, either. The fact is I'm lost, and I realise how incredibly fucking stupid that is. Since _Seto-darling_ isn't here I figured I'd have a better look around the place on my own before he turns up and I find myself avoiding him like the plague. I left my nice safe path from the kitchen to my room, like a total idiot, and wandered around looking in all the rooms until I stopped and realised I had no idea where I was. So now I'm walking through this pointless fucking maze, wondering how the hell someone can be dumb enough to get lost in a _house._ Then again, the same thing happened to me in the pharaoh's palace, which is how I found out how to get to the treasure room.

At this moment I'm getting sick of having no idea where I'm going so I'm just standing here, banging my head against the nice, smooth wooden panels of one wall. Between each bang I'm cursing in my old language, digging my nails into the wood. The words sound sharp and hissed in the silence surrounding me – words that have not been said in thousands of years. I know this because the pharaoh rarely curses. He's too _good_ for that.

After a while I slide down to my knees and pray to the gods to deliver me, because I can't think of anything else to do and I hate being lost. At least inside the Puzzle there were traps and things to make it more interesting.

Well, what the gods send me is not deliverance, and I'm fairly certain they only keep me around to entertain them with my misfortunes.

"Damaging my property already, and praying to a wall." Seto is standing in the doorway, smirking at me as I kneel here glaring at the wall through my hair because I don't want to look at him. I swear once more with added venom and stand up, pressing my palm against my forehead because I've managed to give myself an incredible headache. I ignore Seto and stalk away towards the other door at the opposite end of the long room. I hear him walk up behind me and I jerk to a halt as he grabs my arm, spinning me around to look at him. He still looks amused, and I snarl at him with bared teeth, yanking my arm from his grip.

"Wrong way." He tells me in his smooth voice, and I wish I didn't have to restrain myself from hurting him because I really, really want to right now.

"Go choke on caviar or something." I hiss, then see stars as he backhands me across the face.

"You're not helping yourself." He says lowly, as I yank away again and growl like an animal.

"And you're not helping my headache." I tell him, making my exit quickly, before he can stop me again. I think that went well. I didn't kill him yet.

It takes me another hour to find my way back to the bottom of the staircase, but I'd rather wander around this place like a lost soul for a thousand years than call Seto back to help me. I think I'm being childish, but I don't care. I could murder him in one of those endless rooms and nobody would ever find him; I could tell Mokuba and Ryou he ran off with his bitch of a secretary. I wish I'd thought of that back when I had him alone in the bang-head-on-wall room.

Anyway, I'm at the bottom of the big staircase now and I don't know what to do. It's only about six in the evening so if I go to bed now I'll wake up at four am and probably get myself lost again. I'm not going upstairs yet anyway, because Seto's office is up there and I don't want to run into him again. I dither about like an idiot for a few more minutes, then give up and sit on the second step of the staircase. I'm just going to stay here until something happens or it gets late enough to go to bed.

I don't actually have to sit there like an abandoned mental patient for very long before Ra gets bored with my lack of activity and sends me something to do. My light discovers me and walks over, looking puzzled.

"What are you doing?" He asks, although I thought it was obvious.

"Nothing at all. It's getting really boring." I tell him, although if I sit completely still nothing horrible can happen to me. Well, other than Seto coming down the stairs. Ryou smiles sympathetically at me and takes my hand, pulling me up. He's used to my weirdness by now, which saves me a lot of hassle and medication.

"Well, everyone's coming over in an hour or so, it's kind of like a housewarming. Kaiba said it would be alright as long as nobody bothers him, so why don't you make something for everyone to eat?" He suggests. I stamp down the urge to get myself lost again and shrug at him, letting him lead me to the kitchen. Seto wouldn't just let those freaks in his house, therefore he's only doing this to torment me. Well, at least cooking for many idiots is something to do – I can probably find a good place to hide when they get here. Unless I get lost again.

I'm cooking now, which I seem to do a lot lately. Ryou can just about boil an egg without setting himself on fire, and from the times Mokuba stayed at our apartment I know he's not much better. I'm making fried rice with chicken because everyone likes that. I've cooked for them all before – every time Ryou used to invite them over I ended up getting roped into making them dinner. I don't mind, it keeps me out of the way and it's something simple, I can just switch my mind off and work on autopilot.

Not much happens while I'm making the food – Mokuba wanders in, watches me cook for a while then wanders out again. Ryou comes in for a drink a few minutes later and tells me that the idiots have all arrived, then takes cans of soda back into the other room for them all. I finish up and turn the electric oven off, scooping the rice into a big bowl and putting it on a tray with enough small rice bowls for everyone. I wait around for a few minutes for Ryou to come back in here and take the food in to them, but he doesn't turn up so I figure I'll have to do it myself. I don't want to go in there and see them, but I suppose I can just leave the food and go.

I take the tray – it's fucking heavy – and head out of the kitchen and back to the staircase. I can tell which room they're in from here because I can hear them, so I let myself in by kicking the door open. I ignore the morons and put the tray down on the coffee table, then turn around to leave without saying anything.

"Did you make this, Bakura?" Pharaoh pipes up, sitting in an armchair while everyone else is crowded on the couch or on the floor. Marik, Malik and Otogi – people I can actually deal with – are on cushions on the floor.

"No, obviously the fried rice fairy did it." I sneer at him, because I've cooked for them many times before and he knows full well I made this food. He's just trying to find something to say to me that won't start a fight.

"You having any, 'Kura?" Marik asks me, breaking the tension that I doubt he even noticed. I take a bowl and scoop some rice into it, then grab a pair of chopsticks and slip them into my back pocket.

"Aren't you eating with us?" My light asks, and I know he's going to be doing those pathetic guilt-trip eyes, so I avoid eye contact.

"Yes, leaving so soon?" A voice I do _not_ want to hear says, and I turn towards the door to find Seto standing behind me.

"Definitely." I mutter, scowling up at him. I hate that he's taller than me.

Ra finally allows me some mercy and Seto steps aside with a smirk, letting me pass. I escape while I can, and retreat up the stairs to eat my food in my room where my fragile sanity won't suddenly collapse in on itself from too much _shit_ happening to me. Yes, I'm a coward.

TBC

The fun starts soon. Three updates in three days, go me! On more than just one fic! Winter is good for writing. It's too cold to go outside for anything other than work.


	4. Take Me Drunk

Notes: The chapter titles are songs by Metallica, Megadeth, etc. I'll put a full list of who they're by at the end, but listen to No Leaf Clover because it rocks muchly. I skipped work to read Shiro Ryuu's fics and write this, so now I must spend all night typing so I don't feel as guilty.

DreamingChild – He gets to have fun for about five minutes in this one… I feel quite sorry for poor Bakura now.

Black Thorns and White Tears – You'll find out what's going on in Seto's head nearer the end, and Ryou and Mokuba aren't as hard to imagine as I thought they'd be. I was all worried about it, but they're not in here much anyway so I guess it doesn't matter.

Shiro Ryuu – You made me skip work to read that fic of yours with Sieg and Seto. I loved the end, Seto was so cute! You read this at work? I write most of it at work, so that fits. I wish I actually did have a fried rice fairy, I'm living on egg noodles and vodka milkshakes this week.

Bellebelle3 – Well, he's not really _coping_ as such… You'll see!

Poor Twisted Me – 4

I've been here a week and in that time I've managed to get lost twice and break a rib. Well, _I_ didn't break it, Seto did, and it hurt a lot. It felt remarkably like being stabbed, actually.

I've figured out that Seto doesn't like seeing Ryou and Mokuba displaying any sort of affection for each other. Every time he sees them so much as hold hands and I'm there he gives me this look, and the moment he catches me alone I get to play my new favourite game. This involves me dodging a lot but eventually getting caught and introduced to the business end of Seto's fist. This is so fucking pathetic, I can't believe I'm not allowed to kill him. He's driving me insane, I can't deal with being forced to take things like this and I can feel my careful little mental balance tipping like a sinking ship.

I'm starting to forget things, which probably isn't a good sign. That happened before, and he's going to regret it if he does this much longer – I really want to kill him and I'm not known for my self-restraint when I lose it. Some days I'd like to be normal.

My side hurts because of the cracked rib, and I have to pretend I'm still fine for the kids. I could be an abused housewife, I definitely fucking cook enough. Thankfully I heal fast, and it's been a few days since the whole rib-cracking incident so it's healing up nicely now. It doesn't hurt too much any more, I could hardly walk the first day. I just crawled into bed and told Ryou I had a cold so he'd leave me alone. He gave me painkillers for the imaginary headache, which really helped with my side. Even though I could probably have used something a little stronger, like maybe morphine. Fuck, I want to murder him.

I'm getting drunk tonight. This morning he walked into the kitchen while I was making myself breakfast and of course I mouthed off at him, because I'm smart like that. I'm not letting him beat me into being some meek little mouse, cringing every time he comes near me. Screw that.

So, because Ryou and Mokuba were out I didn't have to be quiet and I ended up screaming a while shitload of things at him. I think I threw a mug at him too, and he just watched me like it was really interesting then walked out. No punching, no insults; he just left.

I hate being confused more than anything, so I just stared at the door for about half an hour and imagined the brand new crack appearing in my sanity. Then I sort of laughed a bit, and decided to get drunk so I don't have to think about anything.

I would've started drinking right then and there – screw breakfast – but my light and Mokuba came back, and the pharaoh was with them. I spent the entire day avoiding talking to that royal prick, but now he's finally given up on getting me alone and left, since it's after nine. Mokuba and Ryou went to watch a movie in bed, so I raided the cupboards for any alcohol I could find. It took me a while, but I eventually found out where Seto keeps it and commandeered a bottle of vodka, which I relocated to the back garden. There's this little porch thing with an outdoor heater, so now I'm sitting under it on a deckchair, drinking vodka and coke, singing. It's in my language again because I miss hearing it, and I may not be the world's greatest singer (I sound like a woman) but this is a drinking song so it doesn't matter. I'm actually pretty happy now that the alcohol is kicking in – I think hearing a song that I last heard around a campfire in the middle of the desert helped. I remember singing it to my horse, and I burst out laughing because I can see it so clearly, even after all this time. I can even remember the feeling of sand beneath my feet, the clean air and being able to see the stars well because there was no light but the dying campfire for miles. Even the stars are not in the same places now, but I suppose it doesn't matter. I only get homesick and nostalgic when I'm drunk or thinking too much. Or when I'm ill, because I never got ill back then.

I lean back in my chair and smile to myself, glad that I have this heater to keep me warm. Back in the desert I had a red cloak, such bright colours were hard to get and it was very expensive. I didn't pay for it of course, but I still really liked it. I miss that, I could probably buy ten now but they wouldn't be the same because that one was not meant for people like me, yet I had it anyway.

"So here you are. I was wondering what that noise was, I wasn't aware there were any women in the house."

Yes, I sound like a girl. Does he think I don't know this? I ignore him and knock back the rest of my drink, sitting forward to pour another one. Seto is standing in front of my chair, ruining my fun as usual. He always turns up at the exact moment I don't want him near me, I think he's the anti-Christ or something. Yes, I know modern religions.

If there's one thing I've learnt about Seto, it's that he hates being ignored. I do it to him a lot, just because I know he doesn't like it. One day I'll write an instruction manual for him or something. _'How to Operate Seto Kaiba.'_ Heheh.

"Something funny?" He asks, because I'm snickering into my drink.

"Yes. Now fuck off." I say, and I think the first instruction should be _'do not tell him to fuck off, he does not take this well.'_

He growls and leans down, then lifts me out of my seat by the front of my shirt. I need to stop wearing shirts so he can stop picking me up by them. I think then he'd just use my throat, though. He punches me in the jaw and my head snaps back, which hurts my neck. I give him a bloody grin and laugh, then throw the rest of my drink at him. There's not much left (it'd be a shame to waste vodka on him) but it's enough to get the front of his shirt wet and piss him off even more. He grabs my wrist and I drop the glass, which lands on the grass next to the paved area I was drinking on. It doesn't smash, which is nice.

My side throbs as he raises my wrists up level with my head and his grip tightens around them. It gets tighter and tighter, and he's waiting for me to give in and show him that it hurts. He's watching me closely with a cold smirk on his face and it _does_ hurt, but I don't want him to know that. The drink is dulling the pain a little but I still feel like both my arms are about to break – I'm going to have some really pretty bruises from this one.

"Hurt?" He asks, and that's a fucking stupid question. Ra, this is painful, I'm shaking with the effort of not showing it. I turn my head to the side to spit out the blood in my mouth from when he punched me, then I look at him again and grin. I want to scream, his thumbs are pressing right into my wrists and my fingers are curled into shaking claws because it hurts so much.

"Not really," I finally answer him, and I'm annoyed through the agony because my voice broke. "So how was your day?" I manage, still grinning up at him.

"Stressful." He hisses, and increases the pressure. My knees give up like a pair of fucking pussies and I collapse to kneel in front of him. He lets me go so as not to get dragged down with me, and I gasp in relief at having my wrists freed but don't take my eyes off him. I don't really want to see the black and green bruises that I know are starting to form on my arms – I'm going to be wearing long-sleeved shirts for the next few days.

He seems to be waiting for me to do something, so I ignore the first thing that pops into my head (kill him!), blank out the second completely (fuck him!) and go with the third (drink more!). I reach out and pick up the glass from where it fell, amazed that I can still use my hands, and fill it up again from the bottles on the ground next to my chair. It hurts quite a bit to grip anything or make a fist, but I expect it'll hurt a lot more tomorrow so I'll save my complaining until then.

Once I've poured my drink I sit cross-legged on the paved ground and look up at him curiously as I start drinking it, wondering what he's still doing here. I stretch a little, feeling a throbbing pain in my side, and suddenly I can't remember why it hurts. This worries me for a moment, but it soon fades and I decide it isn't that important anyway.

"Are you going to sit out here all night?" He looks down at me with a frown and I give him a really demented giggle, because I'm drunk and sore and he's a bastard and I don't care if it doesn't make sense.

"You are so fucking tall." I tell him, because he's towering over me all big and dark and threatening, like fucking Batman or something.

"I'm aware of that." He says, and he's somewhere between amused and annoyed.

"Batman's tall, right?" I ask in a dazed voice, and I think now that the adrenaline rush is wearing off the vodka is hitting me like a sledgehammer.

"I have no idea." He's looking at me like I'm stupid. I'm not stupid, I'm just drunk and I can't make myself shut up, which is a problem.

"If pharaoh saved the world from…uh, me, does that make him a superhero?" I ask, wondering if he counts. He _did_ have a cloak, back in the desert. Mine was better than his, but I don't think I'd be a very good hero. I don't like most people enough to want to save them from things.

"I doubt it." Seto leans against the wall of the house and folds his arms, watching me as I drink myself into a coma.

"I hate the pharaoh," I mutter, yawning. "He won't leave me alone 'cause I used to sleep with him back in… back in…" I trail off, then remember what my country is called in his language. "Egypt."

Seto looks surprised at this, but I'm getting sleepy so ignore it and drain the rest of my drink, then curl up on the stone floor and close my eyes. I've slept on worse before, and the heater is still on so it isn't so bad.

"You'll ache in the morning," Seto points out to me, and I hear him move to go back inside.

"I know," I mumble, thinking about my bruised arms as I drift off to sleep.

TBC

You wouldn't think Bakura was my favourite character with all the crap I put him through, but he's fun to torment.


	5. Sweating Bullets

Bellebelle3 - Yeah... I have no idea where the Batman thing came from. But I can totally picture Seto in the mesk, those pointy little ears are so cute!

Freak in the Shadows - You're trapped underneath your drunken brother? You should draw on his face! It's fun putting poor little Bakura through all this, I should have guilt or something but my pizza fixation has taken over and all I can think about is pineapple chunks.

Shiro Ryuu - I quite enjoyed the whole skipping work thing, I managed to get loads of stuff typed up. Yay! And yes, Seto is a complete bastard. The chapter after this one is the turning point, though. He finally gets to see that he really is driving Bakura nuts. It was muchly fun to write!

Lady11Occult - You can never have too much fanfiction! It's good for your brain, like fish.

Flamethrowerqueen - Yay!I missed you! My ego grows an extra ten sizes when you're around! Bakura's way of dealing with pain is to smile at it like a crazy, because he is one. It came from watching him get wiped out too many times on the show - he always laughs when he's about to die.

Note: I love my reviewers! I also love being really horrible to Bakura. I am a bad person, but at the moment I am a bad person with pizza, so I care not.

Poor Twisted Me 5

I'm sick today. I think it's a hangover, since I passed out on the back porch and woke up in bed. I'm pretty sure Seto carried me, but I think he only did it because he really doesn't need the press taking photos of a drunk guy passed out in his garden. I spent the first hour after waking up just locked in the bathroom, being sick over and over until there was nothing left in me to throw up. Now I'm lying on my bed feeling fucking sorry for myself, I can't even move. I haven't had a hangover this bad since… ever.

Ryou is hovering over me all worried, and I don't have the energy to tell him to piss off and let me die in peace. He made me swallow some painkillers when I could keep them down, but they haven't started working yet and my head is pounding – I feel like I got hit by a train.

I roll over and groan, sticking my arm out off the edge of the bed and making some vague gesture for Ryou to go away. Thankfully it's covered up, because the movement reminds me all about the bruises there. I don't even want to look at them yet, I'm wearing long sleeved black pyjamas so I'll poke at the bruises when I feel less like the living dead.

Ryou seems to get the message, because he leaves a glass of water on the nightstand for me then goes off to mother someone else. I'm just about to thank Ra for the peace, but then the door opens again and Seto is in my room, frowning down at me. He really needs to get a few new facial expressions, and I really need _this_ right now. It's a reflex to sit up and pretend I'm not weak in front of an enemy, so my body goes right ahead and does it without consulting my brain. This is obviously very stupid, because my headache suddenly amplifies by about ten times and I just go totally white and collapse again. So much for not looking weak.

I can't even open my eyes now, so I just lie there and try to sell my soul to Ra in exchange for Seto getting some urgent phone call right now. Ra ignores me as usual though, and I feel Seto's hand on my forehead, checking my temperature. You'd think he cared, wouldn't you? I don't even have the energy to flinch and see if it inspires any sort of guilt in him. It always worked on me when Ryou did it.

"You're an idiot." Seto informs me, and I'm well aware of this. I will never drink again. Well… probably not for the rest of the week, anyway.

"Go away, I hate you." I roll over and mumble into the pillow, then realise how pathetic and childish that makes me sound. I'm pretty sure he's laughing at me, which I enjoy about as much as having his hand around my throat.

XxXxX

Around midday I get up, realise I still feel like shit and go back to bed ten minutes later. Before I crawl back beneath the sheets though, I lock the door to the bathroom and roll my sleeves up, staring at my arms for a few minutes. The worst of the bruises are _green_, and you know you're fucked when bits of you start turning green. Around the edges of the green it's black, which fades into blue and light purple on the outside. It's actually quite pretty, I'm a living work of art. Fuck, it hurts.

I rifle through the medicine cabinet for something to put on them and come up with a tube of cream, which is better than nothing. I perch on the edge of the bathtub and rub the stuff into my arms, wearing a really blank grin because it hurts like all hell and my way of dealing with pain is to smile insanely at it.

Once the cream is on I give it a moment to sink in and roll my sleeves back down, wincing. Then I unlock the bathroom door and crawl back into bed, trying to find a position to lie in that isn't painful. I have to give Seto some credit, he's really good at being a total bastard.

XxXxX

I'm woken up a few hours later by Ryou knocking on the door. At least, I'd assumed it was Ryou.

"Come in," I groan, and find out that it was actually the pharaoh. "Oh sweet Ra, why won't you leave me alone?" I greet him.

"I wanted to talk to you," he says, coming over to the bed and sitting down. I sit up and rake a hand through my hair, then remember that it hurts when I do that because my arms are fucked.

"I don't want to talk." I glare at him, hoping stupidly that he'll just be considerate and fuck off. No such luck, of course. Am I so special to him that he can't just go and find someone else?

"Look, I'm sorry for forgetting you, you know that. It isn't as though I could help it." Pharaoh tells me. He has that lecturing tone in his voice, like I'm some child and I've done something wrong. He's a living God; I suppose he thinks nothing is his fault. I want to kill him. I want someone to be here to stop me.

"You know why there's always someone trying to kill you every five minutes?" I hiss, "Because you're a fucking prick, that's why." I draw my knees up to my chest, reigning in the urge to kill. He's frowning at me, I wish he'd go away.

"Don't be like this, Bakura. I remember what we had now, you have no reason to hate me anymore." He tries.

"I've had five thousand years to build this hate up, Pharaoh, it's not going anywhere." I know nothing I say is going to convince him that I really, truly do hate him. I don't know why he does this; I must look like I'll be a good lay or something. I liked it better when nobody noticed me at all. I hate the pharaoh and Seto makes me want to jump off a building. Look at where attention's gotten me.

"I was thinking, we're all going camping this weekend, do you want to come?" The pharaoh asks me, in an _'I know what's good for you'_ tone. I was perfectly happy on my own until he came along, is peace too much to ask for?

"No. I hate you all and I hate nature." I point out, knowing full well he's trying to rekindle some fairytale relationship we once had. What we actually had was sex, but he tends to over-romanticize things like that. I think _he's_ the one who needs to get out more.

"Come on Bakura, you might enjoy it." He tries to persuade me, and the only way I'd ever want to go camping with him would be to see him get covered in wasps.

"I won't enjoy it. I'd rather eat scarabs. You'd have to remove half of my brain to make me enjoy sitting in a tent with you and your idiot friends." I tell him, wondering if I could get away with murdering them all if I did it in the middle of the woods and buried them really deep. I'd have to wait until my arms healed up, though.

"You'd rather sit here and brood instead of coming out and having fun with us?" He can't seem to understand that.

"I'm not brooding, I'm attempting to create an aura of _leave me alone_. Obviously it isn't working. Now go away before something horrible happens to you." You can't really threaten someone who just glosses over insults, but it's more of a habit now. I can't hurt him anyway – the worst I could do is bend his cards or something. Admittedly that would send him into a fit of hysterics, but the thought of getting close enough to pick his pocket for the damned deck makes me nauseous.

"You can't do this forever," he tries to look concerned for me, and in return I'm trying to give him cancer through the power of thought.

"Yes I can." I smirk. I'm tempted to make up some really horrible thing I'll do to his friends if he doesn't go away, but actually doing it if he called me on it would involve effort. I need a pizza, I wish I had one of those little flippy cellphone things Seto has so I could just call for one. I haven't eaten all day because I've been throwing up, sleeping and nursing my bruises. I'm really hungry now.

"Well, if you change your mind…" Pharaoh says, getting up to leave. Finally.

"If I change my mind I'll make sure to kill myself before I start believing in the power of friendship and enjoying group activities." I mean that.

He rolls his eyes at me and walks out of the room, and I need to tell Ryou and Mokuba not to let him in next time.

XxXxX

I eventually get so hungry I can't sleep anymore, and head downstairs to find food. I creep into the kitchen and open the refrigerator to look for sandwich things, but there's a plate in there with a note on it from my light. It's for me, which is nice, so I stick it in the microwave and make myself a drink while it heats up. When it's done I put my drink and my food on a tray to carry into one of the other rooms, reminding myself that my arms are still throbbing and I should be careful not to drop it all over the place.

Mokuba and Ryou are in the room with the television, watching a movie. I take my tray in and retreat into a corner, then answer all their stupid 'are you ok now' type questions and let them get back to cuddling or whatever. I'm not interested in the movie so I look up at the bookcase next to me, picking out the first book that catches my eye so that I'll have something to read while I eat my dinner. Ok, this isn't so bad…

XxXxX

It wasn't so bad. Well, for a couple of hours, at least. But then Seto turned up in the doorway and I was actually having a nice night, he has to fuck everything up. Mokuba and Ryou were still sitting on the couch together, all curled up watching television, and that pissed him off. I could see it in his eyes, and he just gave me this _we need to talk_ look. It's actually a _come let me hurt you until I feel better_ look, but it needs a snappier name. I do it, anyway. I put my book down and make up some pathetic excuse for my light – I'm going to bed, I'm going for a walk, whatever – then I head out of that nice little corner and make my way to Seto's room. I could just ignore him I suppose, but there's always the chance that he'd take it out on Ryou, and I don't want to have to kill him. Yes, I'm letting him do this to me so I don't have to kill him, I'm a fucking idiot. I should just go ahead and murder the son of a bitch, but I don't think Ryou would be happy about that and it'd really fuck things up for him with Mokuba.

I let myself into his room without knocking because that's not needed when I'm only here so that he can beat the shit out of me to make himself feel better. I close the door behind me and stand there looking at him, waiting for him to stop glaring and start with the violence, and all I can think about is that damned book. I should have finished the book first. If he kills me or something I'll never get to find out what happens at the end. This is one of the signs that I'm losing my fucking mind, but I'm so wrapped up in thinking about the book that I don't care. I think he can tell he doesn't have my full attention, because he suddenly strides over and grabs my chin, forcing my head up and looking right into my eyes. I stare back, but I'm looking through him instead of _at_ him.

"Something important?" He asks, smirking. I stare through him and realise that I can't remember any of the character's names in the book, this disturbs me. It's not a good sign to be forgetting something I was reading less than five minutes ago.

"A book. I can't remember it now." I mutter, not really paying attention to what I'm saying because I'm too busy trying to figure out what's going on with my brain. Some days I really would love to just be a normal person, not having to chase after my own mind all the damned time. Where does it _go_?

He's looking smug and I should be angry, but my head is spinning and I'm having a hard time remembering why I came up here in the first place. Something about a book, I think.

"What's wrong with you?" He demands, raising an eyebrow and looking down at me with something between amusement and concern.

"I think you're driving me insane." I say honestly, which makes him laugh even if I wasn't joking. Apparently my delicate little mental balance is a game to him - which is all fine and good - but we'll see how amusing he finds it when I start my killing spree with him.

"Maybe you should stop thinking so much." He suggests, tilting my chin up again with one hand so I have to look at him. I focus on his touch, which makes me feel a little better. I don't think he's actually trying to comfort me, but giving me something to keep my attention on is doing the trick and the impending panic attack feeling is going away. That's good, because I don't think he'd live through one of my panic attacks.

"Maybe you should stop fucking with me." I say, and he does that self-satisfied smirk again.

"What fun would that be?"

I'm about to tell him what I think of that, but he steps back at a knock on the door. A moment later Mokuba opens it and pokes his head in, grinning at his brother and not looking surprised that I'm in here, thank hell. Oh yeah, I just came up here to get the shit beaten out of me. Fun, huh?

"Ryou and I are going to bed now, 'night Seto! 'Night Bakura!" Mokuba calls happily.

"Yeah, 'Night Seto." I growl, deciding that enough is enough for one night. He can save this for when I feel better. He seems to accept this, which is worrying, and lets me leave for my own room. I got through an entire day without getting anything broken, I'm so proud of myself.

Ra, I really am losing my mind.

TBC

The next chapter is going to be fun. Meheh.


	6. Wake Up Dead

Review repiles, skip them if you don't care, the chapter is underneath!

Lady11Occult - I know what you mean, I wrote this one craving dark chocolate. Bakura grins a lot, I like him to be happy! That's a total lie, hehe.

Freak in the Shadows - Don't worry, Bakura's going to full-on disturb Seto right back.

Shiro Ryuu - Yay! I write him cool! Haha, I walk around grinning like an idiot all day after I read these reviews. As for the bit of sanity he loses next... All of it, I think. You can get fake pizza? Wow, I'm English, all we eat is fish and chips. Carbs? What're they? Heheh.

Romy - Seto is hot as a total bastard, isn't he? I can't decide if I like him more here or in BNW, where he's all kind and caring and stuff. Or in Dread, where he's basically a bloody woman...

DreamingChild - Yeah, he is a bit of a masochist... (See this chapter...) The whole thing about being weak and taking this crap is about to stop, though. Wether he's going to stop accepting it or Seto's going to stop dishing it out, though... Or maybe both. Bakura's going to get to have some fun soon, though.

Bellebelle3 - Here's a little of that fun he was talking about.

**Notes**: For you, my pretties, an extra long chapter. This one was fun to write! Six chapters in six days! I'm away for the weekend though, so you'll have to wait a couple of days for the next bit. I also have to write it... I'll post some more on BNW2 though, for anyone who likes insane amounts of fluff.

**Poor Twisted Me 6**

I wake up feeling weird, like there's this haze over me. I don't know what it means, maybe I'm sick. I've never gotten sick before, but I guess there's a first time for everything. I don't want to get up because this bed is so soft, but thinking that makes me open my eyes. There should be sand beneath me, there was last night. There should be sand, and rocks, and my horse should be right here, and – Sweet Ra, where am I?

I sit bolt upright and look around with wide eyes, feeling my heart pound in my chest. I'm in a room that's like nothing I've ever seen before, there are finer things here than in the pharaoh's palace and I scramble out of the huge bed, panicking. I try to find my cloak but it's not here, nor are any of my weapons. I look down at myself and I'm wearing black clothes made of something soft and smooth. What the fuck is going on?

I move to touch the black material at my chest and freeze, looking down at my hands. They're pale white, like a foreigner, and I stare at them in shock. I don't understand this! Is this some magic? Who has done this to me? Just what exactly _have_ they done?

There's a full-length mirror on one wall so I rush over to it, then give a startled cry of fear when I see myself. My skin is ghostly white all over and my eyes are red – my hair has always been pale but this is fucking ridiculous! It used to be shorter than this and have a purple tint to it, but now it's halfway down my back and whiter than clouds! Even my scar is gone!

I slide to my knees, reaching out to touch the mirror just to make sure my reflection does the same, and this is no trick. I can't believe this! I was just fine last night, now I'm small and weak and I look like a foreigner! As if I wasn't conspicuous enough already! What the hell am I going to do now?

I kneel there with my mind racing for another minute or so, but then the door bursts open and people run in. One of them comes forward and kneels before me, looking concerned and a lot like I do, for some reason. Perhaps the same thing has happened to him?

He says something to me and I stare at him, not understanding the language he's using. I want to run, but the more I stare at him the more I feel as though I know him. I look up at the other two – both tall, one with spiky black hair and the other bearing a striking resemblance to one of the pharaoh's priests – and I feel the haze surrounding me begin to lift. I _do_ know them. I… Fuck, what the hell is going on with me? Everything slowly begins to make sense and I stand up shakily, giving Ryou a reassuring but fake smile.

"What was that all about?" Seto asks, striding over and staring down at me. Ryou backs off a little, seemingly satisfied that I'm ok but still looking a little concerned. I look up into Seto's eyes and try to get myself to stop freaking out. I know who I am. I know where I am. Everything is alright. It's fine. I'll be fine.

"Nothing. I had a nightmare." I say evenly, feeling blank because that scared the _shit_ out of me.

"Are you sure you're feeling ok? You look really freaked out." Mokuba says, and I want them to leave me alone. I need alone time, my mind is… There's something wrong with me. It's his fucking fault. I could have hurt my light, I didn't know who the fuck he was!

"I'm great. Get lost so I can get dressed." I smirk, trying to look like it's true. Mokuba nods and takes Ryou out with him, leaving me alone.

Well, I would be alone if a certain millionaire would fuck off.

"What really just happened?" He demands, frowning down at me with his arms folded.

"I dreamed of rainbows and unicorns. It was truly terrifying, but I think I'll live." I lie through my teeth, grinning at him. Come on, beat the truth out of me. I could do with a nice dose of something painful right now. I need to be in control of it, though.

"Bullshit. You weren't asleep, you were over by the mirror." He glares, not liking being so obviously lied to.

"Fuck… you have me." I turn away from him and head over to the wardrobe, rifling through my clothes so I don't have to look at him. "The truth is, I saw a spider. I fear them, tell no one."

I grin even though my back is to him and pull out the shirt and jeans I'm going to wear, tossing them on the bed and turning to see his reaction. From the look I'm getting I'd say his rage meter is at about seven.

"Your games aren't getting us anywhere, Bakura. Tell me what happened." He growls, and much as I enjoy provoking him I want him to go away so I can get dressed and steal his car keys. No, I'm not going to drive. I just want to be able to open the car.

"Alright, since you care so much about me." I sneer, narrowing my eyes at him. "I woke up and couldn't remember anything. I thought I should be in the desert – I didn't know why I looked like this or where I was, or who any of you were. I couldn't understand what you were saying, but I'm just fine now!" I say with mock cheerfulness, then smile maliciously. "But I still hate spiders."

He gives me an odd look, like he's not sure if he believes me, but I stare right into his eyes and he can see I wasn't lying. He frowns at me again and turns to leave, pausing in the doorway.

"Come to my office when you're dressed. We need to talk."

Fuck that. I have something to do first, and thank Ra he leaves his car keys on a stupid little rack of hooks in the hallway.

He's going to love this one.

XxXxX

I walk into his office almost an hour later and he glances up at me, his eyes widening in shock.

"What the hell happened to you?" He demands, because I have the world's greatest bruise all down one side of my pretty face, black and blue and possibly green down by my jaw.

"Slammed my head in a car door." I tell him, giving up on standing and just sitting down, right in the middle of the floor. I shall be the centre of attention. Screw him.

"How on earth can you slam your head in a car door?" He looks amused at my misfortune, because yes, he assumes it was due to misfortune that my head came to be slammed in the car door.

"Well, first you open the door, then you stick your head in it and slam it closed. It's hardly something that needs an instruction manual." I mock him, and now he doesn't look as amused any more. He looks worried, the kind of worried where you know they're questioning your sanity. I know that look like the back of my hand.

"You did it on purpose?" He's trying to get this straight in his mind, I don't think he's ever met anyone who'd actually go ahead and do that before.

"I'm hardly stupid enough to do it by accident. If it's any consolation, I feel a lot better now." I wonder what the bruise looks like now? I had a look at it a few minutes ago but I'm pretty sure it's grown since then.

"…Why?" He's still giving me this look, like _'oh my God he really is insane, and here I thought he was putting it on.'_ I shrug and crawl over to the half finished jigsaw either Ryou or Mokuba has left on the floor, and start just quietly staring at it. I'm very bad at jigsaws because I think they look better when the picture is all mixed up and broken and scattered around. I expect the room of my soul probably looks something like that at the moment - the pieces will order themselves again if nothing tips me for a while, but lately everyone I meet seems to want to shake the box.

Seto is still staring at me, not sure what he should do. The knowledge that I am actually a mad person seems to have unsettled him, I can't understand what gave him the impression I was ever sane in the first place.

After about three minutes I give up on the jigsaw because it's not holding my wandering attention. Instead I stand up and focus on my glorious headache, wondering what drumbeat to what song the throbbing would fit. I think of a few that are about the same speed before I remember where I am and that Seto is still staring at me.

"I'm bored." I announce by way of explanation. "I'm going to either cook dinner or kill myself. I'll decide when I get to the kitchen." I tell him casually, heading towards the door. "Do you want food if I'm not dead?"

"What…is wrong with you?" He manages, fully disturbed by me. I grin at him and cock my head to the side, and I'd probably look quite cute without the bruise and the fangs.

"I don't know, but it's your fault." I decide, then a sudden thought occurs to me. "Hey… If my light and your brother fuck, are you going to kill me?" I smile brightly. His eyes darken with anger at what I just said, as though the thought of them doing that really, really pisses him off. Before he can come beat me senseless I turn and walk out of the room, singing to myself. If he wants to attack me he can come find me first, he'll get lazy if I just keep coming to him all the time.

I don't feel like cooking that much right now, but I **do **feel like playing with kitchen knives. Perhaps I'll stick one through my hand and then show it to him, I'd like to know what he'd say if I mutilated myself just to disturb him.

I get to the kitchen and switch the radio on. There's nothing much playing for the moment, so I stand and stare at the knife block for a while before setting everything out for the whole cooking thing. I'm just about to start chopping vegetables up like some boring housewife when this song starts playing on the radio and I freeze. It's called 'Would' by Alice in Chains, and the bass line goes right through me. I turn around and slide down to sit on the floor, my back against the cupboards underneath the counter, and just listen to it. I still have a knife in my hand and I slide the tip up my chest, arching my head back and closing my eyes, just letting that music inside me. I can feel it catch my heartbeat and speed it up, and I'm just glad Mokuba and my light aren't here to see me sitting on the kitchen floor letting some song reduce me to a puddle of lust. Seto is here though, and he's standing in the doorway watching me arch my back at the chorus, moaning. I hardly know what I'm doing any more, I'm just doing whatever it makes me feel and enjoying it.

"What are you doing?" He asks me, frowning down at me and trying not to look like I turn him on, sitting here on the floor panting. The song finishes and I look up at him as if I have no idea where I am or what I'm doing, because it takes me a moment to remember. I was cooking, that's why I have this knife in my hand.

"Making dinner, I think." I say in a mildly confused voice, because I could be wrong. I think I need to lie down, but I may as well finish making dinner first now that I've started.

"On the floor?" He raises an eyebrow.

"Apparently." I look around at where I am then shrug and get up, turning around and very calmly starting to chop up the leeks on the chopping board in front of me. I can still feel his eyes on my back, and for a while he just stands there.

"You're upset about something." He states finally, watching me cut up vegetables like he's not entirely sure I should be trusted with a knife at this point. I think about this and try to pinpoint exactly what it is that's making me unhappy, but it's difficult to remember these things.

"Life in general, I think." I decide in the end, feeling quite cheerful about the whole thing regardless.

"What are you going to do?" He asks, frowning yet again as I turn to face him.

"If I knew it wouldn't be fun. I'll figure that out when I do it. You can grade my creativity afterwards, if both of us are still alive." I tell him, but something important suddenly strikes me and I pause, clinging to this little moment of clarity before it fades away. "Don't let me hurt Ryou." I hiss at him, struggling to remember that this is important, this is the one thing that matters after everything else becomes a game. "If you let me hurt him I'll do things to you that the devil himself couldn't think up." I threaten. He doesn't usually respond well to threats but this time I'm deadly serious and he can see it in my eyes.

"You're not going to hurt anyone, including yourself." He growls, and I laugh.

"We'll see," I smirk, knowing that whatever my point was I must have gotten it across, and hurting me is _his_ job, right?

"I mean it," he claims, and I decide that I don't like being spoken to as though I'm some misbehaving child. I haven't done anything wrong yet, have I? If I had I'd remember.

I narrow my eyes in annoyance, half at him and half at not being able to recall what I said two minutes ago. It's all getting too much for me, I really think I need to lie down. The side of my face hurts and I can't think why, I'm gripping this knife like it's a lifeline and I think I'm having one of my special brand of panic attacks.

"What's wrong?" Seto asks me, and I can't take any more. That's it for today, screw dinner.

"Stop asking me what's wrong, you don't want to know what's wrong with me. Get me some bandages and stop staring at me." I snarl quietly, shaking.

"Bandages? Why-" He looks shocked when I turn and slam the knife I'm holding through my other hand, staking it to the chopping board. The pain is incredible but I don't make a sound, and blood starts spreading in a pool around it really fast but at least I can remember my fucking name now. I try to pull the knife out but it's really jammed deep into the wood – it went all the way through my hand, he should be impressed.

"A little help here?" I glare at him, trying to un-stake my hand. He's staring at me in shock, you'd think he'd never seen blood before.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" He finally yells, and I'm quite surprised I actually managed to make him curse. He strides over and I glare up at him, getting just a little pissed off now.

"I don't know what's wrong with me, maybe I'm perfectly fine!" I growl, sick of him asking me that and still yanking on the Ra-damned knife. I swear, it's like the sword in the fucking stone, I could have knights lining up to try and pull the thing out. Next time I stab myself I'll have to remember to do it _gently_, so as not to oh-so-intelligently stake myself to anything.

"You are definitely not fine." Seto hisses, grabbing me by the front of my shirt _yet again_ and looking down at me angrily. I grin up at him, knowing full well that'll just piss him off even more. My blood is running down the side of the counter and dripping onto the floor, and_I Hate Everything About You_by Three Days Graceis playing on the radio. It's weird the things you notice when there's a knife sticking out of your hand.

"Are you through hurting yourself?" He demands, and I wish he'd just un-stick me already so I can stop bleeding everywhere. My light would throw a fit if he saw the mess I'm making, but at least it's a nice colour.

"Can we have this conversation when I'm not bleeding to death? I need an aspirin." I say casually, regardless of the fact that my hand is really starting to hurt now. Not as much as the huge bruise along my jaw though, which actually hurts more. I think it's because I'm still grinning at Seto.

"I don't want you doing this." He says sternly. I don't see why it bothers him, he started it. I'm about to tell him this, but he leans down and kisses me. I wasn't expecting _that_. I'm apparently pretty easy to distract, because the next thing I know he's yanked the knife out cleanly and I snarl in pain into the kiss. Once the knife is out I swing my hand up and slap him across the cheek, just because it makes me feel better and I'm too out of it to really care right now anyway. Doing that probably hurt me more than it hurt him, since I'm the one with the hole in my hand.

He grabs my wrist and I smile sweetly at him, liking the bloody smear he has across one cheek now. I wish it'd come out as a perfect handprint, that would've been worth getting a picture of. Avenged Sevenfold's _Bat Country _comes on the radio and I really like this song, so I start humming along as he holds my wrists up and tries to figure me out for the millionth time. Good luck with _that_. At least the knife is out now and the bleeding is stopping because he's holding my hand up. I'm glad I heal a lot faster than regular people; I expect it'll just be a scar in a few days. I wiggle my fingers at Seto just to see if they still work and I'm rewarded with a lot of pain, but at least they move. I don't know why he thinks this is any different from when he broke a couple of my fingers, maybe it's because he's a control freak and he doesn't like not being in charge of my pain. And he thinks _I_ have problems.

He's still staring at me and I really want to make stupid faces at him, but I don't want him to put me in a straitjacket and I think he'd do that. Or put me on medication, and if he tries _that_ one I'm going to drown him in his own blood. Speaking of which, _my_ blood is starting to dry on my arm and it really fucking tickles.

Staring at him in total silence would be really surreal if I wasn't fidgeting like a seven year old and listening to the radio. I'm glad there's music playing or this'd be really boring. I wonder what he's looking for in my eyes? I'm trying not to start giggling; he looks so serious. I think he needs to relax.

"Can we get takeout when you're done? I'm hungry, I think it's the blood loss. Can we get Chinese food?" I ask, craving sweet and sour sauce for some reason. Or maybe pizza, grease and melted cheese sounds pretty good. I'll have to ask Mokuba and my light what they want when they get back.

"Why are you like this?" Seto asks, still not letting me go. I'm some huge, unfathomable mystery to him and he's trying really hard to find the logic behind half the things I do. If he'd just let me go he wouldn't have to worry about it any more, I'd find someplace far away from him and the pharaoh and my light, and wait for my poor little mind to put itself back together. Since he's so intent on keeping me here he'll just have to deal with the consequences.

"Live my life and see how well balanced _you_ end up." I reply to him, not bothering to list half the shit I've been through.

"You weren't this bad before you came here," he points out, and you'd think that was reason enough to let me leave.

"I don't deal well with pressure." I explain, and he probably doesn't understand anyway. I'm fine taking on the world by myself, but add pressure from more than one person and it's too much. It was the same on his stupid blimp thing – I had to worry about myself, my light, Malik, defeating the pharaoh _and_ Marik, and where did that get me? I ended up back in the shadow realm where I belong, because I couldn't cope. That was me at my most unstable, I'm getting to that point again.

"So can we get takeout?" I ask, relieved when he finally lets me go because my wrists were starting to go numb and I need to wash some of this blood off.

"How can you be so flippant about this?" He hates not being able to figure me out, and I like that I annoy him so much.

"Would you rather I was depressed?" I wander over to the big, silver kitchen sink and run my hand under the water, getting all the half-dried blood off.

"No," he grabs a cloth and mops up the blood from the counter and the floor so Mokuba and my light don't walk in on a scene from a horror movie when they get home. I think he'd rather I _was_ depressed because that wouldn't confuse him as much.

"Do we have bandages?" I ask, and he hands me a green first aid kit from out of a cupboard. I take out some antiseptic and a roll of gauze, sorting my hand out while he wipes the smear of blood off his face. It looked good, he should get blood on him more often.

"If we get pizza, can I have pineapple on mine?" I look hopeful and he sighs, flipping open his cell phone to call for the takeout. I grin and pop a couple of painkillers because my bruise still really stings, then look down at my bandaged up hand and wiggle my fingers again. It still hurts like a bitch, but I guess that's to be expected. Fear my powers of pain tolerance.

"It'll be here in twenty minutes." Seto tells me, closing his phone and putting it back in his pocket. I grin at him and show him my cleaned up hand proudly, then before he can say anything I turn around and pad off out of the kitchen, up the stairs to change my shirt. This one has blood on the sleeve, which is going to be fun to get out. Oh well, I have pizza so all is right with the world.

I get the feeling I should care more about today but I shrug it off easily. Who cares?

I'm fine.

TBC

He's not fine! This one was long, because I liked it and it had pizza in. I am easily pleased. And don't worry, things will get worse. Yay!


	7. Sick Love Song

**Reviews:** Too many to reply to, I know everyone is probably getting sick of me putting my review replies on the beginning of every chapter. I know, bad. Thank-yous to everyone for the ego-stroking, no matter how perverted that sounds. Meheh. You are all so very nice to me, and make me feel warm and fuzzy. So for you all, here's some sex. You know you want it.

**Warning**: Sex! Love it! And…er, possibly some bad language? Which I expect you've noticed by now on your own, but I'm just making sure. Who'd believe I'm a polite English girl? Meheh.

**Poor Twisted Me 7**

I eat my pizza with Mokuba and Ryou, since Seto was apparently really disturbed by finding out the full extent of my madness. Well ok, that was nowhere near the _full_ extent of it, but he knows it's not just something I do to scare children now. He vanished off into his office to think, or work, or jack off – whatever it is he does up there. I don't care, it means I get extra slices of pizza and mine has pineapple.

My hand hurts, but I'm refusing to care. Ryou saw it and asked me what happened, so I told him I cut myself making dinner. It's not technically a lie, so I'm still going to heaven. Or…whatever. I feel weird. I didn't really want to talk, so I holed myself up in my corner with my share of the pizza and let Mokuba and Ryou forget I was in the room. They're having some quiet conversation about taking a weekend break to somewhere, I don't really know because I'm not paying attention. Instead I'm sitting here chewing my pizza blankly, trying not to think and failing.

Seto kissed me. Asshole. At least, I think he kissed me. My memory is all over the place and I had a knife through my hand at the time, so my mind might just be playing tricks on me. Why would he do all that shit to me and then kiss me? I think it had something to do with him seeing me have one of my special little moments, and stake my hand to the chopping board. It really shook him up, which was fucking funny. I don't understand why though, he's been pushing me towards this ever since I came here. Kissing me is just another way to push me closer to the edge, he wants to see me let myself fall apart completely. So why did he look so worried when I put that knife through my hand? Is he having guilt or something? I fucking hate _feelings._ Especially the ones he has. I'm really confused, and it's definitely not helping my state of mind. My light is so wrapped up in Mokuba that he hasn't even noticed any of this. I should be upset about that but I'm not, I'm glad he isn't seeing me like this again. The less involved he is the less likely I am to hurt him, and hurting Ryou is the last thing I want. After all, that's the only reason I haven't killed Seto yet. Isn't it?

I don't know. I'm starting to lose my ability to give a shit.

XxXxX

Ryou and Mokuba eventually go to bed but I can't make myself move, so I just sit here in my corner and stare blankly at the dark television. I want there to be something violent on, but it's turned off. I've stopped thinking now because I've gone through everything over and over, and come to the conclusion that I don't care and he's just fucking with me. I don't even want to know what's going on, it's going to be some shit about feelings, I just know it. I don't want feelings, I want to go out and burn something.

The main light for the room dims suddenly and I look up to find Seto leaning against the wall by the door, playing with the dimmer switch to get my attention. I stand up and growl, grabbing the television remote from the coffee table near me and hurling it at him as hard as I can. I don't care if I wake Mokuba and Ryou up, fuck them. I don't care. I want violence.

He dodges the remote easily and scowls as it hits the wall, breaking into pieces. I look about for something else to throw, but before I can get my hands on anything he strides forward angrily and shoves me back, pinning me against the bookcase.

"What do you think you're doing?" He demands, leaning over me so there's no way I can escape. I can't help noticing how close together we're pressed, and from the look I'm getting I can't tell if he wants to kill me or fuck me.

"I have no idea. It's becoming a problem," I smirk, expecting him to punch me or something. What he actually does is lean down and kiss me, although he even manages to do that quite violently. My mind goes blank with confusion overload so I just stop thinking again and kiss back, equally as vicious. It's fucking savage, and when he pulls back so we can breathe I'm surprised neither of us is bleeding.

He stares down at me, saying nothing, and I can't quite focus on him but I don't care. After a moment he presses me back and kisses me again, this time letting his lips move down my bruised jaw to my throat. I tip my head back and thread the fingers of my good hand into his hair, groaning. I have no fucking clue what's going on – first he's beating the shit out of me and now we're making out like the world is ending. I don't care, he's grinding me up against the bookcase and sliding one of his hands up my shirt, making my skin prickle with pleasure. I have this noise in my head, like on those hospital dramas where someone's heart stops and that machine makes that high-pitched screeching sound. If I focus on them really hard noises in my head usually go away. I concentrate on the sound in my brain, barely noticing that Seto is practically dragging me up the stairs to his office, but it won't go away. If it had a beat to it like my headaches I wouldn't mind so much, but this is just a boring, flat tone.

"There's a noise in my head," I tell Seto as he manages to get me naked and on his lap, both of us sat on that huge-ass leather chair he has.

"Ignore it." He suggests, kissing my neck again. He's so fucking helpful.

"I can't, it's annoying me." I growl, pretty much letting him do what he wants with me because my body is on autopilot. I'm just glaring inwardly at the noise, which has gone from screeching to buzzing. It sounds like a swarm of fucking hornets; I'd better not have bugs in my head. I saw a show where that happened to some guy, this thing crawled right in his ear and burrowed into his brain. I wish I could make my mind shut up.

Whatever Seto's doing feels really good, I had no idea he did the whole sex thing. Maybe the broken bones were foreplay? Is that normal?

Seto suddenly forces me to look at him, one of his hands at the nape of my neck so I can't turn away. What am I, a fucking doll? I growl at him to show my displeasure, digging my nails into his shoulders. This priest should be grateful I'm even letting him touch me, if the pharaoh were to walk in and see him with me he'd call his guards and we'd both be… Wait…fuck. Not a tomb robber anymore. Right.

"What's wrong with you now?" Seto asks, and I stare right into his eyes as I slam myself down on him, just so he can see what I do with pain. I think he was going to do this properly, or at least not in a way that would cause me huge amounts of agony, but I like to piss him off. It doesn't hurt that much anyway, even dry. I'm too disconnected to really feel it.

"I'm trying to gather all the scattered fragments of my mind together long enough to get laid. What's wrong with _you_?" I reply to Seto, since he's looking at me like he wants an answer.

"I just find it strange that you don't seem to mind that we're having sex." He says, and I have no idea what he's doing with his hands but if he stops I'm going to hurt him.

"I don't care, you can fuck me as long as you don't turn me over to the…pharaoh…" I trail off, then shake my head. I'm not in the desert. I'm getting worse, but I'm moving against him as he kisses my shoulders and does that thing with his hands, so I don't care.

"Try that one again." He says, biting my neck so that he leaves a mark. He can mark me all he wants, I foresee looking at them in the mirror and having no idea where they came from.

"I don't know what I'm doing, and you're taking advantage of me but I'm not girly enough to care." I smirk, leaning to catch his lips and kiss him again, because it's really the only way to shut him up that actually works. His grip on my hip tightens and I think he's as close as I am. I want to scream, but I get the feeling there's a reason I shouldn't.

"You seem coherent enough." Seto murmurs into my neck, but I don't think even he believes that.

"You seemed like a frigid bastard, apparently looks can be deceiving." I reply, along with a ragged moan because that pissed him off and he has his hands on some very sensitive parts of me. He seems to like the noise I made, because he jerks and bites down hard on my shoulder, growling like a fucking animal or something. I hiss in pain at being bitten, but I forget it pretty fast and throw my head back, shuddering as he brings me over the edge. The scream in me ends up being cut off quickly by his lips over mine, and I remember that I'm supposed to be quiet because there's someone… Someone else, somewhere, that shouldn't hear? I don't know. Ra, that felt good.

Seto snarls and bites my bottom lip as he finishes a moment after me, and what is this guy, a fucking vampire? I sit on his lap dazedly, getting my breath back and wondering what to do now. Not what to do about him, I'm just going to have a shower and ignore him completely. I mean what to do with the rest of my night. I need something to fix me, I don't even remember how I got up here into his office in the first place. He's fucked me up even more than I was before, he really knows what he's doing when it comes to driving people completely off the rails. Then again, he probably does it a lot.

"Are you alright?" He asks, and I wonder why I'm still sitting on his lap. I get up and turn back to him, giving him one of my scarier grins in the dim light.

"No." I pick up my shirt from the floor and put it on, then turn and walk out of his office with a deranged giggle.

I'm going to _hurt him._

TBC

Well, that one didn't want to write. I couldn't concentrate because I was singing. Yeah, that really is my excuse. This only has a few chapters left now, either two or three. The ending is all written though, and I _still_ have no idea what's going on.


	8. Some Kind of Monster

**A couple of replies, because I couldn't resist - **

Mini-Murderdoll - I love that you think I'm a cool person!

Seto'swifey - Yeah, it is pretty confusing. Hopefully the last two chapters after this one will clear things up a little. Or possibly not...

KeraJeir - There is no hope for you lot, hehe. I'm driving you nuts? I'm not too insane, I'm just obsessed with pizza and music. I'm short too, 5'2", so I don't do a lot of damage either. I should get a rocket launcher or aflamethrower or something.

Kaieshakai - Yeah, but I still might have him do it...

DreamingChild - I shouldn't sing at all, I shound like a cat choking on a banshee.

Bellebelle3 - I think this has turned into something like angst/romance/drama/comedy now. You make me sound so intelligent in your review! I love you, hehe.

Lady11Occult - Varon and Amelda? Now there's a challenge, I have no idea how I'd write their characters. I'll have to try and put them in whatever I write next, I've never written any of Dartz's lot into anything.

**Note**: I finally know how it's going to end, which is always a good thing. This one's short, because… it just is.

**Poor Twisted Me 8**

I have no fucking idea what's going on. For the past week Seto hasn't laid a hand on me…well, he hasn't _hurt_ me, anyway. He doesn't get angry when he sees Mokuba and Ryou being coupley anymore – he acts like he doesn't care. As for me, every time he catches me alone we end up screwing like nuclear rabbits and I'm so far beyond confused it's not even funny. That first night in his office I ended up taking a shower then carrying a bunch of expensive breakable crap outside, lining them up and killing them with a golf club. That was fun. He came out and stopped me after a while, but I think it was more because I was going to wake the kids than that I was doing thousands of pounds worth of damage.

I tried to kill him with the golf club too, but we just ended up fucking again. I don't know what's happening and I think I'm about to hit my breakpoint. Mokuba and Ryou left yesterday for their little weekend getaway, and when they said goodbye to me I had no idea who the hell they were. I need Seto to tell me what's going on, but every time I try to make him tell me he either changes the subject like a fucking coward or we end up having sex, which leaves me even _more_ screwed up.

I'm thinking about all this in the shower, since I got covered in chocolate syrup for some reason. Seto is a kinky freak, and he has a sweet tooth. Not that I'm complaining, I'd just like to know _why_ we went from him driving me insane and using me as his personal stress relief to us having really good sex and him _still_ driving me insane.

I finally get all the fucking sticky crap off me and step out of the shower, drying myself off with a towel that has a big dolphin fish thing on it. That has to belong to… that guy I look like, whose name I can't fucking remember again. Lovely.

Apparently I took too long with my shower, because Seto is an impatient bastard and just waltzes into the bathroom like he owns the place. Wait… he does own the place. Ra, going crazy is really starting to piss me off.

"What do you want? You need to learn to knock, I could've been jacking off in here or something." I fold my arms, glaring at him. He does that arrogant bastard smirk of his and takes his time noting the fact that I'm only wearing a dolphin towel and still managing to look sexy in it.

"That sounds like a good idea." He says smoothly, and I start backing up because my mind is all over the place and he's not getting any until he fixes me. I think he's the only one that can – since this is all his fault – but I don't know how and I don't think he does, either. If he even wants to fix me. He'll have to soon, things are coming to a head. I think it's going to be tonight, I can't take much more.

I back up against something cold and turn around to find myself looking into the full-length mirror on the wall. Before I can escape Seto's behind me, pressing me up against it. My bare chest is against the cold surface and my hands are curled beside my head, my breath misting the glass because he has his hands under the towel I'm wearing. He's kissing the back of my neck and I'm mesmerised by our reflections in the mirror. I've never seen what I look like when I'm being touched like this before, it's fucking weird.

I stare into my own wild eyes while he gets me off, and it feels like I'm looking at someone else. A total stranger. I keep lapsing back into _tomb robber _every now and then, so my own body feels weird to me. My eyes are a different colour than I recognise – they used to be purple like Marik's but now they're blood red.

My head falls back against his shoulder and I moan out something obscene, watching myself through half-lidded eyes in the mirror as he sends me over the edge. He holds me up for a moment to make sure I don't fall as I recover, then lets me go and watches in confusion as I slide to my knees anyway and stare at my reflection, grinning like a maniac. I just looked _right into my fucking eyes_ as I snapped – I saw it hit me. That last little crack that shattered everything, I watched my own mind fall apart from the outside. I have to get out of here before I kill him.

"Bakura?" He asks me as I narrow my eyes and stand up, a smile on my face that has absolutely nothing to do with humour. I think he knows it's finally happened, he's looking at me with a guarded expression. I don't know what he's thinking. I don't care, right now I could slit his throat and I don't even think it would matter to me. He'd better let me go, I hope he realises how much I want to just rip his heart out right now. How much effort it's taking me not to. I'm starting to question why I'm even bothering to stop myself, and it's definitely time to get out of here.

"If you follow me I'll kill you." I tell him, and it's not a threat. I'm warning him, because if anyone comes near me again in the next couple of hours I'm going to show them why I'm labelled psychotic.

I stalk around him and out of the door, and he wisely keeps his fucking mouth shut. I don't want to hear words right now. The noises in my head have stopped completely – everything is dead silent and I'm not used to that. I always have background noise in there somewhere – I'm used to it – but over the last few days the noises have gotten louder and louder until they finally just cut off altogether. I can't stand the silence, I need to fill it up with something, something violent.

I pull my clothes on in a trance, the grin never leaving my lips and this tenseness building up inside me so much that I almost tear a hole in my shirt just putting it on. My hands are shaking as I pick up a set of keys off the hooks on the way out and head into the blackness, towards the garages. There's a motorbike in there. I've wanted to play with it for ages. Now seems as good a time as any.

XxXxX

I'm going far too fast. I don't think I could ride this thing at any kind of normal speed, not in this mood. I'm so fucking confused, but this is helping. I'm not even thinking yet, just screaming along on this bike, loving the darkness and the speed, and the roaring music. I didn't stop for the helmet – just grabbed the headphones because somehow they were more important than not dying at that moment. Metallica's _Some Kind of Monster_ is playing, and it's this amazing instrumental that completely doesn't sound like Metallica, but fits with this so well. Going too fast on a motorbike in the dark, when there's nobody about, and I can feel this thing building up inside me, like I just want to fucking _scream_.

I could kill him. I could go to him wherever he is now, and just kill him. Or maybe next time he beats the shit out of me because Ryou loves his brother, maybe _then_ I'd kill him. But he doesn't do that anymore, does he? He just fucks me. _WHY? _I should kill him. The train of consequences would get me in the end, though. Pharaoh would know, he'd have to kill me and what the fuck would that solve? I don't really want to kill Seto anyway. I don't know when I started calling him Seto instead of just Kaiba, I only do it in my head anyway. It doesn't matter. He's fucked everything up, I think I love him. One second he's throttling the life out of me, the next he's kissing me like I'm the hottest thing he's ever seen. I can't handle it, my sanity is fragile enough as it is. It's mostly gone now.

Maybe I'll ride this fucking bike into a brick wall, I'd love to see how he'd react. He thinks I'm fine. I'm not fucking fine. I want to fight back, it's against my nature to just take it. I want to hurt him, because he's hurt me and it's fair game, right? He played his little games with my mind, and now he has to deal with winning.

I scream around a corner on the bike and suddenly I know what I'm going to do. I can see it up ahead – right in the middle of the city because it's the biggest building, and he's so fucking important. It has a glass front on it, huge panes and big glass doors that cover the front of the ground floor, all very modern and neat. Not for long. Those have to go.

There's this long, wide road - it's usually blocked with traffic and the Kaibacorp building is right at the end of it, sitting there like a big metal monster. I wonder if he's in there? It's late, probably not. He was still at home when I left, but he could have gone out I suppose. I don't care, he'll have videotapes. He'll be able to see it, one way or another. It's rushing towards me – the road is empty at this time of night and it reminds me of a runway. The music is as loud as I can get it and my eyes are narrowed against the wind, my heart should be racing but it isn't. I'm not smiling, but I'm not annoyed anymore either. I'm just listening to the music, it's such a perfect song for the mood I'm in right now.

I think I'd like to die to this song.

TBC

Cliffhanger, because the power just went out and I have an incredible shitload of editing to do for the next chapter. I think there's two left, I'm trying to make this fic 10 chapters long.


	9. Damage Case

**Review Replies -**

Freak in the Shadows - Yeah! Skip school! You learn more from fanfiction anyway.

Shiro Ryuu - Fear my updating powers! Hehe, I really like writing this one, that's why it's getting done so fast. If you liked the cliffhanger on the last chapter you're gonna love this one! My writing is intense? Sweet! I find it a lot easier writing this way, I can just let my babbling mind take over and not have to make sentences pretty and eloquent. Although... I still try to do that a bit, but I get to swear loads and talk about pizza, which is a lot more fun. You spent the day with a fax machine? Wow, that sucks almost as much as my job, only I never do any work. As for the complaint, yes, there does have to be pizza in every chapter. Except this one. I love the pizza, hehe.

Kaieshakai - Yeah, I'm a perverted freak. You love it!

Bellebelle3 - I love scary dangerous Bakura. Isn't he just sooo cuuute?

Flamethrowerqueen - My family are driving me mad, this is my stress relief. You have to be a bit nuts to live in this bloody freezing wasteland anyway. I hate the cold. I'm glad you like the story, hope it doesn't freak you out too much.

Kerajeir - Damn you and your 2"! I shall sulk. I hate being short, I can never see the stage at gigs unless I wear big boots. I hope you never go around this particular bend either, it seems quite painful.

**Note:** This whole fic came out of nowhere, but I'm glad everyone seems to like it! Hopefully the ending, which is this chapter and the next one, won't be too disappointing.

**Poor Twisted Me 9**

The noise is fucking amazing. It's a mixture of the music from my headphones and just a _shitload_ of breaking glass. The entire front of the Kaibacorp building lobby is made up of big sheets of glass, and if it hadn't been safety glass I'd be dead right now. Dammit.

I'm still cut to ribbons, but I don't give a shit. The bike is wrecked, after I drove it through the glass it hit this little raised wall thing that goes around the fountain in the middle of the lobby and threw me right off. I hit the wall with this really fucking great _crunch_ and slid down - right now I'm just sitting here bleeding, grinning at how much I just fucked up Seto's pretty building. I didn't think all the sheets of glass would shatter – I only rode through the middle one – but there's not a single pane left unbroken. The floor is covered with little bits of safety glass and a few bigger bits that haven't quite shattered properly. Alarms are going off all over the place and I can hear police sirens over them, headed here.

Fuck them. I pull myself up and head off up the stairs on one side of the lobby, ignoring the motorbike laid on the floor, wheels spinning like it's some dying thing. I'm bleeding all over the place but it doesn't hurt and nothing's broken, so I run up the stairs. Flights and flights of them. After a while the alarms turn off, but I keep running. My lungs burn and my bruises ache, I can't even _think._

I finally make it to the top and out onto the roof, it's still dark so I put my headphones back on and head over to the very edge. There's a railing to stop idiots falling to their deaths by accident, so I hop up on it and balance, my arms out at my sides, listening to my music and watching cars go past below. It's late, there's hardly anyone out. I wish I had a cigarette. I don't even smoke.

I remember walking along the roof of the palace like this, waiting for the pharaoh to come and stop me. He never even woke up, and I stayed out there until almost dawn before I crept back into the bed with him. I should have just jumped off. I think I'll do that now, I don't want to be here anymore. I hate the Pharaoh. I hate Seto. No I don't. I don't fucking know.

"Bakura." A voice says behind me, loud enough to be heard over my headphones. I spin around on one foot, balancing on the railing like an acrobat or something, and Seto is standing there frowning at me. He had them turn the alarms off, I wonder what he told the police? I don't care.

"Go fuck yourself!" I snarl at him, putting all the venom I can into my voice. I flip the headphones down to my shoulders and start pacing back and forth on the railing, knowing that if I put a foot wrong or lose my balance I'm dead. I'm just waiting to see if I'll actually fall or not, and Seto's eyes look concerned. He really didn't see this coming. He should have listened when everyone told him how unstable I am. When _I_ told him. This is his fault for pushing me. Screw Ryou, he can take care of himself now. Screw them all! I'm not submissive and pathetic enough to be able to take this kind of bullshit for this long. I want to fucking murder someone. He's saying something to me, but he sees that I wasn't listening and says it again, this time making sure I'm paying attention.

"Come down from there."

That was fucking predictable. I'm not coming down just to make him feel better.

"No. Fuck off, this is your damned fault." I hiss, glaring at him.

"I know," he says, and I narrow my eyes because he just admitted it, and he has to be trying to trick me.

"I want to go! Look what you did to me! This whole thing is so fucked up, I don't know why I did this in the first place." I mutter, feeling my mood shift from angry to uncaring again, then hop down off the railing and stride past him, towards the elevator. "I'm leaving."

"Bakura, wait a minute," he says sternly, and grabs my arm as I pass him. "We need to talk."

Feelings. Fucking feelings! Fuck off.

"No, you need to let go of me before I break your pretty face." I grin. He does, and I sprint to the lifts before he can follow me. He says my name again and starts walking towards me, but then the lift doors close and I'm headed back down to the lobby, away from him.

XxXxX

The elevator reaches the ground floor and lets me out into the trashed lobby, then the doors close and it heads off back towards the roof again. That means Seto is going to follow me, so I'm out of here before he catches up and drives me any more insane. I feel like I have to die tonight just to make it all stop.

I pick my way out through the broken glass littering the floor, getting weird looks from a couple of guys who're boarding up the windows until someone comes along to fix them. The motorbike is gone so I just walk out through one of the holes where the windows used to be and head down the street, turning off down some nasty little alleyway so Seto can't find me. I don't know what to do now, but I haven't known what I've been doing all night, so it's nothing new really.

I walk around for half an hour or so, getting totally lost because if I don't know where I am, Seto definitely won't. I think that's called idiot logic, because I come to the end of one of the little side roads I've been wandering along and I'm at the docks. Seto's car is parked just down the road and he's standing next to it, talking on that cell phone thing and not looking pleased. I try to creep past to where the boats are tied up but he sees me because it's night and I have white hair, which sticks out like you wouldn't believe. He's like some kind of stalker, I just want him to leave me alone and stop confusing me – he makes me crazy. No, I don't want him to leave me alone. I don't even know what I want.

"Bakura, come home, Ryou is worried about you. They're on their way back." He says, walking across the road towards me.

"Ryou worries about everything." I point out, backing away like a scared animal or something, giving him the most hateful glare I can manage. I don't want to be doing this, I don't want to be here. I should have jumped off his building when I had the chance.

"_I'm_ worried about you," he says, really close to me now. _The nerve._ He's the one who made me like this and now he's worried?

"You're such a bastard," I growl, glaring at him then flicking my eyes over to the edge of the docks. I know what I'm going to do. I can hardly swim, I lived in a desert. I think I'll drown myself.

"I know." He admits, and he almost has me trapped against the wall of a warehouse.

"I'm not going back with you. You make me crazy, go away." I tell him, then try and dart away from him so I can go drown myself. He grabs me by the arm and slams me up against the wall, then brings his other hand up to try and touch my face or something. I don't know what he was going to do, because before he can do it I have my teeth sunk into his arm between his wrist and his elbow. Blood starts soaking through his shirt because I have fucking sharp teeth, but he just stares at me like it doesn't hurt. Fuck him. _Fuck him!_ I want to hurt him!

I glare at him and refuse to take my teeth out of his arm, giving him the most evil glare I can, and his blood is dripping off my chin. I'm growling and I didn't even notice, I can see the glow coming from my eyes reflected in his, which is weird. That catches my attention for a few moments and my growl dies off as I forget where I am and just watch that little glow.

"You're coming home with me if I have to drag you there by your teeth in my arm." He says, and his voice isn't strained at all. It reminds me why I'm here and what I'm doing biting him though, so I dig my teeth in deeper and snarl, digging my nails into his arm as well and still glaring up at him. I feel like a fucking animal.

"Get in." He orders, and I flick my eyes over to where his stupid limo has pulled up right next to us, the door open. I don't want to go in there, but he suddenly swings his arm around and I wasn't expecting that. I let him go and hiss as I hit the floor of the limo, but before I can escape he gets in and closes the door behind him. Fuck this! The fucking door won't open!

"Let me out before I _fucking murder you!"_ I scream as the car starts to move, his blood all over my lips and down my chin, staining my shirt. It's about time I got to make him bleed.

"Wouldn't you like to know why you ended up like this?" He says evenly, and I can't stand that he's so – so calm while I'm all over the fucking place!

"Fuck you! I don't give a shit, you did it!" I snarl, then start thrashing like an animal because he just pinned me down on the seat and he's staring right into my fucking eyes. I want this anger, I need this, and he's trying to calm me down! He knows I can't – I can't concentrate properly…

"Do you want to know why I did it?" He asks in that smooth voice, and I hiss at him. I hate him, but I can feel my mood shifting again, and I stop struggling.

"You had a reason?" I smirk, narrowing my eyes at him. He eases up a little but doesn't let me go, because I think he sees that I'm even more dangerous in this mood. There's no anger now.

"I love you." He's staring right into my eyes as he says that, smirking slightly. The sleeve of his shirt is ripped and covered in blood, it looks like he got attacked by a dog or something. Maybe it was Jounouchi.

"'We often hurt those we love'?" I sneer, wondering vaguely why I can taste blood. Am I bleeding? Is it mine?

"Not quite."

The limo pulls to a stop and he helps me out like a perfect fucking gentleman, leading me over to the house. I like the way our footsteps crunch on the gravel, then tap on the smooth wooden floor inside. He leads the way up the stairs and into his office, and I like it in here. It's dark – there's only the lamp in a corner lighting the room. I like the dark tonight.

"Tell me a story." I demand, watching him close the door, moving over to sit on that leather chair behind the desk. I stride over once he's comfortable and sweep everything off his desk onto the floor with my arm – his laptop, another lamp, pens, paper. He just leans back in his chair and keeps that calm, uncaring look on his face as I pick up the letter opener from the floor and move to kneel up on his desk. There's going to be violence, but I want my story first. Seeing that I'm ready to hear it, he begins.

"Once upon a time, you came to my office to tell me something I already knew." He pauses as I take the sharp letter opener dagger thing and use it to shred the buttons off my shirt until it falls open. There's blood all over it anyway – riding through a window will do that to you.

"Mokuba and Ryou."

"Mokuba can't hide things from me. He's a terrible liar." Seto laughs darkly, and he's so fucking sexy when he does that. It's a shame he has to die soon.

"And you broke my fingers because…?" I flex my fingers, letting my eyes skim over the almost healed scar where I put a knife through my hand. It's just a pink line now, fading to silver. It'll be gone soon.

"I wanted to see what you'd do. I didn't think you had the self-restraint to take it, apparently you did. For a while." He gives me a smug look, and I'd slit his throat right now if I didn't want to hear the rest of the story.

"You were trying to make me crazy on purpose." I sum it up, and I should be angry that he played with my mind because it amused him. I'm not though, because that's exactly the type of thing I'd do. It's still too late for him now.

"In the beginning. I didn't think you were for real. When I realised you were actually losing your mind I tried to fix it." He explains, and I take it that's why he switched beating me to fucking me. Gods, _beating me. _That sounds so fucking pathetic.

"You made things worse." I point out.

"At least I tried. There, you have your story." He smirks, but he's wrong. We don't have our happy ending yet.

"But are you sorry?" I grin, tracing my tongue along the blade of the sharp little knife, watching him the whole time.

"Not really." He's watching me closely, and I think he's trying to figure out how to fix me. It's far too late for that. At least his answer was honest, though. He's such a sadistic bastard, I want him to fuck me right here but I have to kill him.

"You took something from me," I tell him, grinning even more insanely than usual and knowing that my eyes must be burning unnaturally bright.

"And what was that?" He asks, as though he believes he hasn't taken a thing from me. I chuckle darkly and crawl across his huge desk, my shirt hanging open from my shoulders and all sorts of interesting scratches on my chest. I still have the knife in my hand and there's blood everywhere, all over the tatters of my shirt and dripping onto his desk now. I didn't realise I was bleeding that much, but I can't feel it. It doesn't matter if I can't feel it.

"My control." I smile wickedly, "But I have it again now. It's not the same control I had before, but that one was no fun anyway."

"And just what are you going to do now?" He asks, reaching up to bury his hand in my hair and bring me forward to kiss him. I lean into it, balanced on all fours like a cat on his desk, and part my lips for him. It's a fucking great kiss, real movie star stuff. Now we just need our happy ending, and I can do that. Anything for _my Seto_.

I jerk my hand up and feel him tense into the kiss, then I draw back and lick my lips, looking down at him.

"And they lived," I hiss, "_happily ever after._"

He reaches across with his other arm and yanks the knife out of his shoulder, growling in pain and getting even more blood on his desk. He's going to have to buy a new one, and a new shirt. I love being an inconvenience. I was going for his heart, but my aim is a little off. I think it's my feelings for him, they don't want me to kill him. They're about as much use as non-alcoholic beer, I should stab them too. I wish I had more knives.

"You need to read more fairytales," Seto tells me, his voice only slightly strained from having just been stabbed in the shoulder. He tosses my knife away and I hear a click, which makes me laugh. He's pointing a gun at me, and I really, _really_ want to know if he'll actually shoot me. I'm going to make him do it, I've never been shot before.

"Shoot me!" I grin happily, kneeling up on his desk in front of him, stretching my arms out at my sides. My shirt is still hanging off me in bits, like tattered wings. I'd make such a fucking good angel.

"I'd rather not." He raises an eyebrow at me, because I think he was expecting me to have an entirely different reaction to the gun. He's bleeding all over his shirt and I am _so_ turned on by that.

"Pussy." I sneer at him, "Come on, do it! I used my knife, don't tell me you shoot blanks." I cackle. My mood has shifted again, now I'm having fun.

"The bullets are real. Have you ever been shot before?" He asks coldly, pointing the gun right at my head. I grin madly and rest my palms flat on the desk, leaning forward a little to get closer to the gun. His aim might be bad, but even if it is he can't possibly miss at this range. It's point blank; the gun is about a foot away from my head.

"No." I flash my fangs in a laugh. "I'm a gunshot virgin. Pop my cherry, fucker!" I demand, beginning to suspect that he's not actually going to shoot me. I'm about to get disappointed, but then I see the look in his eyes.

"Alright," he says with a smirk, "_The End." _

The force knocks me back off the desk as he pulls the trigger, and as the room turns black all I can think is… he fucking shot me.

I have such a thing for this guy.

TBC

One more chapter, who lives and who dies? Dammit, I was really enjoying writing this one, too. Now I need a new thing to do. And…pizza.


	10. The Doctor is Calling

**Review Replies - **

Bellebelle3 - Yup, he's a freak. But we love him anyway, because he's a sexy freak!

KeraJeir - I liked that last line too. Bakura's nuts, you have to shoot him before he falls for you.

Seto'swifey - Not quite the end! Sorry I confused you, I hope the ending isn't too weird!

DreamingChild - Well, nobody seemed to have guessed the ending before I wrote it, so I guess it went well! Even if it was a little confusing.

Lady11Occult - Seto's just sadistic, I kinda thought it fit him. Isn't he cutewith a gun?

Shiro Ryuu - Nooo! Don't take my Metallica CD's! Or my pizza! I need them for the sequel! Hopefully this last chapter will make you laugh, it turned out kinda funny for some reason. I suck at serious, I like stories with crazy grinning, blood andbreaking stuff. It's way more fun!

Everyone else - I got a lot of people saying OMG. I hope that's a good thing! Thankyous to everyone who reviewed, and everyone who didn't gets bad karma! Bad!

**Note:** Yes, there shall be a sequel. Already started writing it.

**Poor Twisted Me 10**

I wake to the sound of some godawful boyband singing something upbeat and happy. Groaning like a fucking zombie or something – because I do indeed feel like a reanimated corpse – I raise a hand and hit whatever's near me, without opening my eyes. It connects with what's probably a lamp and I hear a smash as it hits the floor, a smirk on my lips because I like that I broke something.

"Either shoot me again or turn that off." I say, and my voice is all husky because I just woke up. I wait a second, knowing someone's in the room with me, but the music gets louder. Fucker! I open my eyes and glare at Seto, who's standing beside the radio looking smug.

"Welcome back to the land of the conscious." He says, and I try to sit up but realise that it hurts a lot. I'm hardly going to keep this to myself.

"Ow! It fucking hurts, make someone give me drugs to make it stop. And turn that shit off! Where's my light?" I demand, then pause and point dramatically at him. "You fucking shot me!"

"You asked me to shoot you. And you stabbed me." He says, gesturing to the bandage around his chest and shoulder. "Do you know how annoyed Mokuba and Ryou are? They found us, you know." He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, finally turning the music off and going back to the other bed in the room, which is in his mansion somewhere. I don't fucking know, I got lost in this place like three times. Oh look, I can remember stuff. Someone should give me a sticker, I'm a good boy.

"So I have to listen to them bitch at me now?" I try to make my expression look more like a frown and less like a pout. Seto lies down on his bed and relaxes, smirking again.

"It's your turn." He says.

"You shot me." I remind him accusingly.

"Only a bit." He shrugs, then hisses because apparently that hurt his stab wound. I laugh at him, because he deserves it. How can you shoot someone _a bit_? Oh, right. He shot me in the chest, as opposed to the head.

"Getting shot fucking hurts." I comment on my recent experience, then notice that my bed has a button thing to make it move. I play with it and move it so I'm sitting up, the same position Seto has his bed in. He looks at me like I'm stupid.

"Really? You should spread the word to the masses." He's a sarcastic bastard.

"I hope you choke on your own teeth." I reply, looking about for something to throw at him. I can't find anything close enough to reach other than my drip, which I'm using at the moment, so I give up.

"Are you back to normal now? I don't want to have to shoot you again, much as I enjoyed being your first." He asks, so I grin madly at him.

"I have a _normal_?"

He seems to take this as a yes, and I understand that guns are dangerous now, so I suppose I am back to…normal. I remember things he said now too, so I am going to have to punish him by making him repeat them.

"What?" He demands, because I'm grinning at him like I want something.

"You love me." I smirk. He twitches and attempts to deny it, but I have him now.

"I shot you."

"I stabbed you." I counter. He looks annoyed and tries again.

"I hurt you."

"I rode a bike through your office window." I grin.

"I drove you insane and made it worse by trying to make it better." He thinks he's won, but I just laugh at him.

"I bit you. You're such a girl. Fuck me." I tell him. He drags his eyes up and down me, covered with a thin sheet and on a drip like some fucking poorly little invalid.

"Much as I'd love to, we can hardly move to that extent right now."

I know that. I don't have to like it.

"I hate you." I sulk, playing with my bed button again and wondering if I have enough energy to jack off in front of him to make him horny on purpose. I ache in many places, maybe I'll wait a day or two.

"No, you don't." He says smugly.

"You shot me." I remind him, yet again.

"You're never going to let me forget that, are you?" He sounds put-upon, and I get the feeling he's endured much bitching from Mokuba and Ryou. Haha.

"Make it up to me," I suggest, and watch curiously as he takes his cellphone off the table beside his bed.

"Fine," he agrees, which I wasn't expecting. He opens the phone and whatever he's calling for, he has their number on speed dial. I listen to him talk on the phone, and he's looking at me the whole time. It's not hard to tell what he's calling for, from his end of the conversation. Finally he flips the phone closed and puts it back, raising an eyebrow at me.

"If this was a fairytale you'd be taking me to Hawaii and feeling a lot more guilty, you smirking bastard." I tell him, but I can't help grinning.

"I got you a pizza and it has pineapple. Do you want me to shoot you again?" He'd probably fold his arms if I hadn't stabbed him through the shoulder, but he looks amused.

"You're so fucking romantic." I purr. "Take me to Hawaii."

"You're lucky Mokuba took my gun away." He replies, refusing to give in.

"When I can move again I'm going to stab you in the leg and laugh while you limp around like a girl. I'll tell everyone you stubbed your toe. Take me to Hawaii." I'm going to make him spend money on me, he deserves it. I want my goddamned happy ending, god dammit.

"Will it shut you up?" He smirks.

"No, but you should do it anyway or I'll make your life a living hell. I'll send flowers to you at work. I'll tell everyone we're getting married. I'll send out invites." I threaten, and he's trying not to laugh because it makes his shoulder hurt.

"Fine, I'll take you to Hawaii." He gives in. "I'm going to leave you there."

"I'll tell Mokuba." I watch him wince at the thought, and know I've won. I'm about to gloat, but the door opens and Ryou walks in with Mokuba, the pharaoh and the entire friendship crew. Marik, Malik and Otogi are there too, and they all file into the room and just look at us both expectantly.

"He did it. He used to beat me. I had to hurt him with my stabbing knife." I say, but I can't stop snickering. Seto looks at me like I'm an idiot, which is nothing new, and Marik pipes up, looking as confused as the rest of them.

"So… you stabbed him and he shot you?" He asks me. Ryou is looking annoyed, giving me the same accusing glare Seto's getting from Mokuba.

"Yeah, it was so hot. I wanna go again." I grin. "He's taking me to Hawaii."

"You tried to kill each other and now you're going to frolic on the beach?" Mokuba gives Seto a scary look and he shrugs his good shoulder as though there's nothing he can do about it. I just burst out laughing at the word 'frolic'.

"We had a few…issues…to work out. Everything is fine now." Seto says, apparently not liking having to explain himself in front of the entire council of… people we know.

"That was 'working it out'?" The pharaoh sounds like he doesn't believe it, and I really want to pull my drip out and spray it at him, but my light is glaring at me.

"Yeah, getting shot is great, you should try it some time. You'd love it." I recommend to him, and Marik snickers and gets elbowed in his side by Malik.

"You aren't upset about this?" Pharaoh asks, taking a step closer to my bed. Seto starts growling and he stops, looking at Seto with slightly wide eyes. "You two are…?" Everyone looks surprised, especially Mokuba and Ryou.

"Bestest friends?" I say, and Seto rolls his eyes at me.

"Having sex." He finishes for the pharaoh, which solves the problem of him constantly chasing me.

"Say it properly!" I demand, glaring at him and trying not to laugh. He's being punished and he knows it, so he twitches and looks away.

"Having a _relationship._" He growls through clenched teeth, and everyone gasps. It's really fucking funny.

"You… and you…" Malik points between us.

"And you! C'mon, threesome, let's do it!" I cackle, and Seto growls again, which is sweet in a caveman kind of way.

"You're sleeping together? Really?" Mokuba asks, looking like he's getting over how disturbing that is and being happy for us. Ryou looks the same, and I just _know_ he's thinking how romantic that is. I should show him my bullet wound, we're great at romance. I have a new hole in me.

"Yeah, you know how kinky your brother is? Two words – chocolate syrup." I grin creepily at Mokuba and he looks like he wants to run away.

"Did he need to know that?" Seto glares at me, and I think about this.

"Yes." I finally decide. "You shouldn't hide things from your friends and family."

"Fine," he gives me an evil smile. "Do they know you're a screamer?"

Marik is laughing his ass off, but I'm not about to let Seto beat me at this.

"They do now. You should tell them about the mirror."

He twitches again, and leans back into his pillow. I win.

"So… uh, we're going to go now. We just came to see if you guys were ok," Yugi says, pushing the pharaoh out of the room with a big smile plastered on his face. Marik seems like he wants to stay and demand to know about the mirror, but he gets dragged out too and after a minute or so only Ryou and Mokuba are left.

"Are you two going to try and kill each other again?" Ryou demands sternly.

"No, mom." I smile sweetly. "We're going to fuck like bunnies."

Ryou looks over at Seto, tapping his foot. He has his hands on his hips, and I cannot believe I was ever worried Seto would hurt this guy.

"I might." Seto mutters, glaring at me like I got him detention or something. Mokuba clears his throat pointedly. "Fine, no more death." Seto sighs, and I stick my tongue out at him.

"Good, now stay here and…uh, don't do anything to jar your stitches." Ryou gives us one last glare before he follows Mokuba out of the room, closing the door behind him.

"Did he mean no sex, or no jumping on the bed?" I ask, and Seto smirks.

"He should learn to be more specific."

There's a knock at the door and before I can say anything else perverted Mokuba comes back in, looking relieved that we're not screwing or anything. I don't think he ever thought his big brother had sex, I'm going to make it my new mission in life to get caught in compromising positions with Seto until he stops looking so freaked out.

"Er, pizza." Mokuba grins slightly nervously, then hands Seto a pizza box and makes a quick exit. I think he needs to go cuddle with Ryou or something.

"Give me." I reach out for the pizza, but instead of handing it to me Seto gets up carefully and comes over to lie on my bed with me.

"I think you should earn your pizza." He smirks, then kisses me. I let him, but I steal the pizza out of his hands while he's at it.

"We should sit here and eat this and make out like horny teenagers." I decide, and he doesn't seem to have any objections to that, because as usual I get my own way. Screw fairytales, all they get is happily ever after. I get a pizza, Seto and a trip to Hawaii. I think I win.

End.

Ending notes: I think 'Kura deserves a holiday. Don't you just love screwed up relationships? More from this one as soon as I finish writing the first chapter of the sequel. I shall now go do that.

Songs used in title and chapter headings, for anyone who cares.

Metallica – Poor Twisted Me

Manowar – Fighting the World

Megadeth – Hook in Mouth

Metallica – No Leaf Clover

Dangerous Toys – Take Me Drunk

Megadeth – Sweating Bullets

Megadeth – Wake Up Dead

Motley Crue – Sick Love Song

Metallica – Some Kind of Monster

Motorhead – Damage Case

Megadeth - The Doctor is Calling


End file.
